The term “high-value men” might seem like a buzzword, but there’s more to it than that. This isn’t a trend, a red pill movement, or a marketing ploy used by dating apps. Well, it is all those things, but there’s more to it than that.
Being a high-value man is something every guy can strive for. You don’t have to be single and dating, on Wall Street, or buying sports cars to be a high-value man. In fact, it’s often more about what you don’t do that makes you a high-value man. To prove it, here are 24 things high-value men don’t do.
What is a High Value Man?
High-value men are those among us who push themselves to be the best version of themselves they can be. This includes physically and financially, but also being emotionally intelligent and caring. It’s someone who brings more value but still gives more than they take.
Unfortunately, this term has roots in the dating world, and it was assigned to certain men that women would find most attractive. But, there’s more to being a high-value man than landing potential romantic partners. Men from all walks of life should focus on increasing their value and being someone their children and other men can look up to.
Adopting a growth mindset will help you get there, but avoiding certain behaviors is key to the high-value men’s club.
25 Things High-Value Men Don’t Do
Forget about his body
High-value men don’t neglect their bodies. A man’s physical health has a lot to do with his value, and that’s been a universal truth for millennia. When men hunted for food, they had to be strong and fast, and those who were the best warriors and hunters were put in place of leadership. High-value men recognize that and know it’s important still today.
Rather than being lazy, or allowing a long workday to keep from exercising, he hits the gym, does some road, or plays a sport still. Physical health and staying in shape provide mental clarity and ensure he’s able to stay focused and tackle his other pursuits, whether they be personal or business.
Forget about his mind
Exercising the mind is just as important to a high-value man as lifting weights or running a marathon. He wants to make sure his brain stays sharp and is fed with new ideas. He stretches his comfort zone, reading books and listening to good-sense podcasts that provide insight on business, relationship building, and professional growth. He’ll also journal about his thoughts and emotions to say sharp.
A high-value man also nurtures a growth mindset, always looking for self-improvement and a better understanding of his own emotions. It’s as critical to his well-being to be financially and emotionally intelligent as it is to be fit, and that takes training your mind.
Breaks a deal or promise
A high-value man takes pride in being honest. When he gives his word, he won’t back out of a deal or a promise. He doesn’t want to take advantage of anyone, but would rather every deal he makes be beneficial for everyone involved. But he also knows that people are depending on him to follow through on his promises, and for that reason, he won’t break them.
Does that mean a high-quality man follows blindly into business relationships or investments, and then throws good money after bad? Not at all. But, if he says he’s going to help someone, he’s going to make sure they receive the help he thinks they need. After all, a deal’s a deal.
Takes relationships for granted
Building an empire or an incredible lifestyle takes time, and many times, it’s the people closest to us who pay the price. High-value men know this, so they make sure to spend time with the people they love and appreciate. And they’re not afraid to show their own emotions, as they know that leads to genuine, stronger relationships.
They also reach for deeper connections with the relationships they already have. They want to support people in their circle, fostering healthy relationships built on mutual respect. This applies to their kids, their wives, and their closest friends.
Cheats on his partner
There are two ways a man can go through and be successful: entirely alone, or with a wife who believes in and supports him. Guys who can’t keep it in their pants and chase women even though they have the love of a woman at home aren’t bringing much value. They’re just sewing immature wild oats and allowing their spouse to pay the price.
A high-value man understands this and works hard to build strong relationships with his family. He won’t tear it all apart on a whim in a cocktail dress. He has enough emotional intelligence to control himself and treat his partner with the respect they deserve.
Dresses like a child
A high-value man can look the part without dressing in a Seville Row three-piece suit. But, he won’t wear broken-down sneakers, basketball shorts, and a graphic t-shirt unless he’s heading to the gym. He’ll dress well, where everything matches and he looks like someone people want to approach.
Dressing like an adult doesn’t mean dressing like an old man, however (I made this mistake as I was trying to mature-up my wardrobe). The important keys are wearing a belt, leaving basketball shoes at home, and trading that ugly graphic t-shirt for something more subdued.
Sets weak goals
Goals can be tricky. Very often, we set goals that are too easy because we need cheap wins. Or, we set goals that are so unrealistic or lofty that we don’t believe we can achieve them. Both types of goals are weak, and high-value men set neither.
A high-quality man has the ability to set real, challenging goals and he believes he can achieve them. Whether they’re goals related to his personal life, his love life, or his business and financial life, he knows how to set goals that propel him forward.
He also has enough self-awareness to reach those goals: He puts a plan into action. He takes control of his lifestyle, tackles goals in smaller increments rather than one big achievement, and never takes his eye off the prize.
Settles for his station in life
We’re all given a station in life, forced upon us by our upbringing and circumstances. But a high-value man knows that’s bullshit. He won’t accept what his own life has given him, and he always strives to do better, achieve more, and grow.
This isn’t an easy one, guys. Sometimes, it means he takes responsibility for his own faults, forgives people he’s wrongfully blamed, and does some personal evaluation of his excuses. He takes ownership and dives headlong into self-awareness so he can grow into the man he wants to be.
Betrays his own beliefs and values
A man has high value, he knows what it’s important to him, and he won’t waiver or waffle on his own value system. Since he values honesty, he won’t steal, even if he’s down and out. If he values a relationship, he won’t cheat, no matter how tempting. If he values finances, he won’t set himself back on a four-wheeled whim with a spoiler and a candy-red paint job.
High-value men simply won’t give in to the distractions and vices that could potentially sidetrack their progress.
A drink now and then is fine, and a great toast is the sign of a high-value man, but one thing a high-value man won’t do is get wasted like he’s still in college. A high-value man has too much self-respect to become addicted to getting high or wasted, and even if he’s predisposed to addiction, he fights the battle in his everyday life.
He knows how important it is to stay healthy, treat his body well, and keep himself under control. Drinking too much or using drugs will cost him in the end, so the high-value man’s ability to avoid these vices is one of his most important qualities.
Expects others to do what he won’t
High-value people don’t ask things of others that they won’t do or haven’t done themselves. Such a man possesses compassion and empathy, and high-value men understand that without knowing how challenging or difficult something is to tackle, that he can’t critique or cut down men who are scared or who fail or who show natural emotion.
This is another area where leading by example is the key. He’s self-assured enough to know he can do something, but he has enough emotional intelligence to understand why someone else wouldn’t want to. And for that reason, he’s willing to do what needs to be done himself to show others that they can do it too, and that he wouldn’t ask it of them if he didn’t believe in them.
Forgets when he forgives
Things happen and people make mistakes, and high-value men are emotionally intelligent enough to know that holding a grudge won’t get them anywhere. But, he also has a keen ability to forgive without forgetting.
The truth is that if someone will do it to you once, they’ll probably do it to you again. That doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a second chance, but a high-value man knows that second chance has some strings attached.
Hides in the crowd
When something has to be done, a high-value man isn’t going to sit back in the crowd and let someone else suffer. He values leadership and knows that the best method for leading and supporting people is through example.
Does he want to do what needs to be done? Probably not. He just knows that taking responsibility and setting an example is what he needs to do to feel fulfilled.
Pretends to know everything
A man who knows his value also knows what he doesn’t know, and won’t pretend that he doesn’t. Rather than bullshit everyone at the party or insisting he has all the answers at the office, he modestly nods to experience and expertise.
Henry Ford is famous for telling a lawyer during a libel trial that he didn’t need to know everything, he just needed to know the men who knew everything. And this is true of high-value men. They value deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the right people more than they value being viewed as the one with all the answers.
Tries to do everything himself
There are times when going it alone is the way to go, like when first starting a business or when the risk is too severe to bring people along. However, men with real value don’t try to do everything on their own. They know who to call when they need help, and they take credit when they don’t deserve it. This is one of the top traits of a high-value man.
Listens to the opinions of others
The saying “lions don’t worry about the opinions of sheep” truly applies to a high-value man. Everyone has an opinion and a mouth to spew it from. But, unless these folks have been there and succeeded, a high-value man will take their criticism and opinions with a grain of salt.
The truth is that most of the things a high-value man does transcend the minds of normal people. While he’s careful not to offend other people’s emotions, he has enough self-assurance to know he’s on the right path and doing things most men won’t even dream of.
Lives in the past
You can get in better shape. You can make more money. You can change your lifestyle and meet someone amazing. But, there’s one thing the high-value man understands, and it’s that you can’t change your past.
Living in the past does nothing for the future. Our highs, lows, victories, and losses can provide some guidance in the form of experience. But living there like Uncle Rico and not being willing to move forward with the rest of life aren’t traits of a high-value man.
Eats like crap
There won’t be any E.L. Fudge cookies, Mountain Dew, or Lucky Charms in a high-value man’s kitchen. He won’t order his food from the window of his car, and he won’t spend $15 on a meal full of processed foods and sugar.
A high-value man knows his body needs good fuel to run efficiently, be strong, and stay healthy. For these reasons, you won’t catch him eating crap. A dessert now and then? Sure. But it probably won’t be a package of uncooked Toll House cookie dough.
Values possessions over progress
Stanford University performed an experiment in 1972 with marshmallows. They asked children if they would like a marshmallow now, or if they waited 15 minutes, they could have an additional marshmallow. Follow-up studies showed that kids who waited 15 minutes and got the additional marshmallow actually had better life outcomes. A high-value man understands this, and he waits to eat the marshmallow.
What does that mean in practical terms? He won’t spend for immediate gratification, but will save and invest in himself and his future. He values progress more than material items, and he knows how to best spend his money. But, he also knows there ar a few things he should own anyway.
Talks about others
A high-value man doesn’t waste his time talking about people that don’t impact him. He doesn’t sit around snickering or laughing at people. He doesn’t look down on the less fortunate and complain about them. He certainly doesn’t label these people as low-value men. This is a waste of time, and quite frankly, it’s below him.
But, that doesn’t mean he turns his nose up to anyone. He’s always willing to help and connect. He just won’t sit around a table with people suffering from their own self-esteem issues gossiping behind anyone’s back. Life is too short, and this type of behavior doesn’t agree with the growth mindset.
Men with high-value traits don’t sit there and complain about everything. They know it’s unbecoming, whiny, and self-entitled. They’re far too self-aware to listen to themselves complain about things when they’d rather hear positive phrases, creativity, and ideas come out of their mouth.
Now, there’s a distinction about complaining: It’s not complaining if you’re bringing up a deficiency to the person who can fix it. If someone is making a mistake over and over again, such men have the ability to communicate effectively and help the situation resolve without complaining.
Runs from his problems
We all have our challenges, but like Rocky said, “It ain’t about how hard you get hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” Men of high value have their own troubles, trials, and tribulations, but they don’t run away from them.
Rather than avoid conflict, a high-value man will face it head-on. He’ll take stock of the situation, understand what he needs to do, and push through it. He’ll come out on the other side a better person, wiser for the troubles and tough situations he faced.
Expects to get ahead
Expectations and self-entitlement are not top traits of a high-value man. He knows that life owes him nothing, and he won’t get anything by sitting on his ass. He takes responsibility and knows that the reason he is where he is today is the result of all the choices he made in his past.
Rather than expecting life to hand him everything he’s ever wanted, he goes out and gets it. He’s confident and knows he’ll do it, but he also knows the best version of himself won’t exist if he doesn’t put in the work.
One of the most important traits of a high-value man is his ability to stay focused. He doesn’t bounce from thing to thing, never building momentum because he’s on to the next shiny object. Instead, he puts a plan together, sticks to it, and sees it through with confidence. He knows the world is full of distractions, but he’s able to turn on laser focus and get the job done.
Social media? No. Small side projects that sap time and resources? No. He knows what his goals are, what it takes to get there, and anything that will push him off course is a distraction—a hard no.
Forgets his purpose
A high-value man never forgets what his purpose is. It doesn’t matter if he’s at his highest point or if life knocked him to the lowest low. He keeps his goals in life and purpose top of mind. He’s resilient, exhibits high emotional intelligence and confidence, and maintains a fixed mindset trained on growth and success.
This is one of the trickiest traits of a high-value man. When life throws curveballs, knocks you off your high horse, and tries to keep you down, your purpose and calling are some of the first things that you’ll let slip. But a high-value man knows that these shit sandwiches are just temporary, and the way to pull out of them is to keep their focus trained on their purpose in life.
What do you think about this evaluation of the things a high-value man won’t do? How many of these traits apply to you? Let me know what your final thoughts are in the comments below! And if you like this type of content, make sure to sign up for the mailing list below. You’ll get content like this sent to your mailbox every week, helping you feel confident that you’re up to date on everything TGA publishes each week.
Enjoying learning about badass skills? What about reviews on products men actually use? Or just generally learning how to be a more useful man? THEN JOIN THE TGA MAILING LIST! Weekly content sent directly to your email address so you don’t miss any of the fresh content and useful advice we’re producing. Sign up below!
Even with all that info on what it takes to be a high-value man, there are probably some additional questions you’d like answered. The following are some of the most frequently asked questions on the things a high-value man won’t ever do.
What is considered a high-value man?
High-value man is a term coined in the dating space, referring to a man with admirable qualities and traits. Traits of a high-value man include confidence, financial security, emotional intelligence,
What is the difference between alpha male and high-value man?
There may or may not be a difference between alpha males and a high-value man. However, if we’re going to generalize, many alpha males are really just putting on a facade of confidence and success, but they’re not emotionally intelligent and they’re often afraid. High-value men are truly confident, with self-esteem and emotional intelligence, and believe in themselves, making them the best version of themselves.
How rare are high-value men?
Some experts believe that only the top 10% of men are considered to be high-value.